🔴 Fictional Article: “Elon Musk Sends Rock Music Superstar Rod Stewart an Ultimatum — Stewart’s Five-Word Reply Leaves Fans Speechless”
In what could have been the biggest crossover moment between rock music and electric innovation, billionaire tech mogul Elon Musk reportedly sent an extraordinary offer to British rock legend Rod Stewart — and the result has left both Tesla fans and music lovers stunned.
According to insiders close to the Tesla promotional team, Musk extended a ten-figure deal — yes, ten figures — to Stewart in exchange for a five-song performance at an exclusive launch event for Tesla’s newest innovation: the Tesla Halo, a limited-edition luxury EV rumored to have autonomous flight capabilities.
The event, tentatively titled “Tesla Ascension,” is scheduled for late 2025 in Dubai and has been teased as the most expensive promotional event in automotive history. Organizers claim the night will “reshape the boundaries of marketing, music, and technology.”
But what no one expected was Rod Stewart’s blunt and legendary reply.
The Ultimatum
Sources allege that Musk’s invitation came not only with an eye-watering financial offer (estimated to be just over $1 billion in performance rights, royalties, and promotion incentives), but also a tightly worded clause: Stewart would have to perform five of his greatest hits, wear a Tesla-branded stage outfit designed by Grimes (Musk’s former partner), and sign a temporary contract as Tesla’s “Creative Sound Ambassador.”
The clause reportedly stated:
“Acceptance of this offer will bind Mr. Stewart to exclusive musical representation of Tesla at all events within the next 24 months, including AI-audio rights, VR performances, and Mars-first broadcasts.”
It was, as one industry executive described, “an ultimatum wrapped in gold.”
The Response Heard Round the World
Rod Stewart’s management team confirmed they received the offer. But what came next wasn’t a formal negotiation, nor a polite refusal. Instead, Stewart allegedly sent five handwritten words in reply:
“Money can’t buy rock ’n’ roll.”
That’s it. Five words. No signature. No return address. Just those words — delivered via courier, in an envelope lined with tartan plaid (a nod to Stewart’s Scottish roots).
According to an anonymous Tesla team member, when Musk opened the envelope, he paused for a long moment before chuckling and simply said:
“Fair enough. That’s very Rod.”
Fans and Celebrities React
Social media erupted once the story leaked. On X (formerly Twitter), hashtags like #RodSaidNo and #RockOverRiches began trending worldwide. Stewart’s fans praised him for his authenticity and artistic integrity.
“In a world where everyone has a price, Rod Stewart just reminded us that some legends aren’t for sale,” one fan wrote.
Even fellow musicians weighed in. Foo Fighters’ Dave Grohl posted, “Rod Stewart just did more for rock in five words than most people do in five albums.”
Meanwhile, Elon Musk himself seemed to take the rejection in stride. In a now-deleted X post, he quipped:
“Wanted Rod. Got rejected. Might ask Mick next time.”
A Long History of Saying No
This isn’t the first time Rod Stewart has turned down massive offers. Back in 2011, he reportedly declined a $20 million Las Vegas residency, saying he wasn’t ready to become a “weekend attraction.”
“He’s always been more about the music than the money,” said longtime friend and former tour manager, Colin Temple. “Rod doesn’t do branding. Rod is the brand.”
What’s Next for Tesla’s Mega Event?
With Stewart officially out, speculation is swirling over who might headline “Tesla Ascension.” Names like Beyoncé, Kendrick Lamar, and even holograms of classic rock icons have been floated.
There’s also growing chatter that Musk may abandon the musical performance idea altogether and instead use the budget to launch the first-ever car concert on the moon, streamed in real-time to Earth.
Regardless, the five-word response from Rod Stewart has already taken on a life of its own, now appearing on t-shirts, memes, and even a rumored NFT drop.
Final Thoughts
At a time when billion-dollar brand deals and celebrity partnerships seem to dominate every corner of pop culture, Rod Stewart’s refusal to “sell out” for even the most staggering offer has become a rare and refreshing moment.
Whether you believe Musk’s proposal was a brilliant business move or a bizarre overreach, the takeaway is clear:
Sometimes, real rock ’n’ roll can’t be bought — even by Elon Musk.
