AJ McLean and his wife, Rochelle DeAnna McLean, are in a better place nearly three years after announcing their separation.

“We’re not fully back together, but we are, hands-down, the best we’ve ever been,” the Backstreet Boys member exclusively tells Us Weekly while promoting his new solo EP, Hi My Name Is Alex. “There is such a love between the two of us, and we’ve been through f***ing hell and back. I have put this woman through the damn wringer, and the fact that she’s still here, either she’s crazy or she loves me or a little bit of both.”

AJ, 47, shares that he and Rochelle, 44, have “been like two peas in a pod” as they work on their marriage ahead of their 14th anniversary next month.

“Now it’s next steps, conversations and figuring out, you know, what are those next steps? But we are definitely moving unanimously in the right direction,” he says. “The family dynamic is fantastic. My kids are happy, and they see it. They see it between me and Rochelle.”

That said, the McLeans’ daughters, Elliott, who turns 13 on Thursday, November 27, and Lyric, 8, are still getting used to seeing their parents together again.

“They still hate when we kiss each other,” AJ tells Us. “They’re at that age. It kind of grosses them out. Even if it’s in a movie, they’re like, ‘Ew, gross!’ So I purposely will be like, ‘Mommy, give me a kiss real quick.’ They’re like, ‘Oh, come on, Dad!’ I’m like, ‘What? I love Mommy. I’m gonna give her a kiss. Leave me alone.’”

AJ admits couples therapy “never stuck” for him and Rochelle, so they have relied on good old-fashioned quality time as of late.

“[I am] taking the initiative now and being like, ‘Hey, let’s go do this tomorrow. Hey, let’s go have breakfast. Hey, let’s go see a movie,’” he shares. “We just took a little Mommy-Daddy trip to Vegas to go see Paul McCartney. She’s the biggest Beatles fan in the world, and we had the most amazing time.”

AJ adds, “We just got back from New York, and I said, ‘Hey, we gotta go do something again. Let’s go figure out whenever my schedule will permit me. Let’s go on a little weekend trip. G-Ma can watch the girls. Let’s go do something.’ And she’s like, ‘Tell me when.’ But three years ago, I don’t know if she would have been like that.”

AJ and Rochelle announced in a joint statement in March 2023 that they had “mutually decided to separate temporarily” but hoped to “come back together.” However, the following January, the pair “decided to officially end [their] marriage.”

While AJ and Rochelle are not fully a couple again, he tells Us they are “crushing” coparenting and always make sure to put their family first.

“God forbid we came to that realization that we’re not gonna try to work things out, we’ve still come to a great place where we can coexist together happily but, most importantly, put our children first and make sure that they’re good and take care of them and keep them safe,” he explains.

AJ’s marital ups and downs have inspired several songs on Hi My Name Is Alex, including “Thinking About Us” and “The One That Got Away,” and even more are on the way when he drops a full-length solo album next year.

“There’s a song called ‘Better Man’ that’s on the album, which, to me, is the sister — or brother, whichever way you want to look at it — to ‘Arizona’ [from the EP],” he teases. “‘Arizona’ was this kind of journey record, and ‘Better Man’ is really where I am today. I am a much better man than I’ve ever been.”

Released under his real name, Alexander James, Hi My Name Is Alex is now streaming.