Six Insights for a Lasting Marriage: Lessons Learned from the Marriage of Steph and Ayesha Curry

LOS ANGELES, CA – JULY 12: NBA player Steph Curry (R) and Ayesha Curry attend The 2017 ESPYS at Microsoft Theater on July 12, 2017, in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Matt Winkelmeyer/Getty Images)

Stephen and Ayesha Curry are coming up on twelve years of marriage, and theyโ€™re still going strong. In over a decade of marriage, they have dished about different tips and tricks for keeping their marriage healthy, so weโ€™ve compiled some of their best advice for anyone who wants to make their romance stick.

Both Steph and Ayesha Curry have been vocal about the fact that couples need to find time to prioritize one another, especially when it comes to date nights.

For example, in speaking to Access Hollywood, Ayesha Curry said of keeping marriage โ€œspicyโ€: โ€œFor us, itโ€™s just not forgetting to date each other, make the time to get dressed up and go out and do all the things.โ€

And Steph Curry told BET.com that โ€œnothing else works unless youโ€™re in lockstep,โ€ which is why the two of them have publicly stated that theyโ€™re willing to put each other first, even above their kids. Building a solid foundation for their marriage provides the bedrock for the rest of their family dynamic.

Stephen Curry and Ayesha Curry attend Eat. Learn. Play., along with partners KABOOM!, The CarMax Foundation, and Oakland Unified School District, as they unveil an amazing new playground, multi-sport court, and garden at Franklin Elementary School on June 12, 2021, in Oakland, California. (Photo by Kelly Sullivan/Getty Images for Eat. Learn. Play.)

What if you and your significant other are too busy to fit in a date night? Well, the Curry family has advice for that, too.

Between Stephโ€™s basketball career and Ayeshaโ€™s culinary work, these two are always busy. But they make dates out of even the mundane things. For example, after spending a basketball game catching glimpses of each other but not actually spending time together, Ayesha says that, sometimes, โ€œthe drive home is the date.โ€

If you find yourself feeling like you keep missing your romantic partner because of a busy schedule, you can make a date out of running errands or driving to visit family. You can catch time together late at night with some popcorn and a show. But when you get a spare minute to breathe, get out there and set that tone with a romantic dinner or even an anniversary trip away from all the responsibilities that have you so busy in the first place.

Healthy relationships involve communication, and lots of it. Ayesha Curry has said that her rule is bringing honesty to the table.

โ€œJust make sure the lines of communication are open. If you have something mean to say, say it. If you have something nice to say, say it. Whatever it is, say it. And donโ€™t hold anything in,โ€ she told The Knot.

Steph and Ayesha Curry talk with theGrio about their new HBO Max show โ€œAbout Last Night.โ€ (Credit: TheGrio on Instagram)

If Ayesha and Steph Curry arenโ€™t always on the same page, itโ€™s safe to say you and your significant other arenโ€™t going to agree on everything all the time either. Whether youโ€™re deciding where to go on your date night or making bigger life decisions like where to live or whether to have kids, the only way through anything is to talk. Who knows? You might be able to talk your partner into going to the restaurant you wanted to pick, or you might decide that moving could open up new horizons.

Itโ€™s good to communicate even when youโ€™re not disagreeing, too. Little compliments here and there can go a long way toward keeping romance alive. After all, we all like to be reminded that someone is on our side.

Ever heard the advice not to go to bed angry? Thatโ€™s how Steph and Ayesha Curry live their lives. Building on the communication theyโ€™ve established in their relationship, these two donโ€™t let fights simmer for too long.

As youโ€™re talking things out, Ayesha Curryโ€™s best advice is to let some things go. Not everything has to become a big fight, and if you can compromise or back off, sometimes, thatโ€™s what needs to happen.

โ€œIโ€™m a dweller. And over the years, Iโ€™ve learned not to focus on the small things, and to look at the bigger picture,โ€ she told the Knot, expanding on her advice about communication skills.

Sure, everyone has their pet peeves and their disagreements. Ultimately, though, if you want to make a marriage last, you both have to give and take.

Steph Curryโ€™s t-shirt expresses his sentiments at a post-game press conference Tuesday night following the Golden State Warriorsโ€™ defeat of the Boston Celtics in Game Five of the NBA Finals. (Photo: Screenshot/YouTube.com)

No one watching Steph Curry play basketball and Ayesha Curry dazzle the culinary world can look at these two and not know that theyโ€™ve got each otherโ€™s backs. If you want to make your relationship last, one of the best things you can do is become your partnerโ€™s favorite cheerleader.

Before a basketball game, you can catch Steph and Ayesha tapping their matching tattoos. Theyโ€™ve also gotten other matching tattoos to represent their children and their shared family goals. Their matching ink is a physical manifestation of their commitment to tackle their lives together.

That support isnโ€™t one-sided, either. Steph makes sure that Ayesha feels his love and support in her culinary endeavors. He even tries to do grocery runs for her, though he admitted to ABC that he will โ€œalways mess somethinโ€™ upโ€ or โ€œforget one of the main ingredient.โ€ Still, he loves to hype up her accomplishments and get her whatever she needs to pursue her passion.

You and your significant other might not be into basketball like Steph Curry or become a famous culinary personality like Ayesha Curry, but you can still check in with each other to make sure you are both finding the time and the space to pursue what you want for yourself. Cheer each other on, and in no time at all, youโ€™ll be seamless teammates like these two are.

Ayesha Curry and Stephen Curry attend The 2021 Met Gala Celebrating In America: A Lexicon Of Fashion at Metropolitan Museum of Art on September 13, 2021, in New York City. (Photo by Mike Coppola/Getty Images)

Itโ€™s good to communicate with your love and let them know you think theyโ€™re beautiful or handsome, but sometimes, actions speak louder than words. And no one knows that better than Steph and Ayesha Curry, who made waves in 2021 when Steph couldnโ€™t keep his eyes off of Ayesha at the Met Gala.

When asked about the moment by Essence, Steph Curry openly admitted to what he was doing, saying, โ€œIโ€™m just hanging out and admiring the merchandise, and seeing how beautiful she looks.โ€ 

Because Ayesha and Steph are constantly in the habit of seeing each other in the best light, it was easy for them to get caught on camera. And you can keep the romance alive by looking for ways to get caught up in that same glow. Those butterflies in your stomach donโ€™t ever go away as long as you keep looking for reasons to fall in love all over again. You and your partner are getting older together, and your bodies might be changing. But if youโ€™re looking for reasons to compliment each other, you wonโ€™t lose those sparks.

Relationships are give-and-takes between two individual people, which means that you can only give as much as youโ€™ve built yourself up to give. Thatโ€™s why Ayesha Curry says her mother gave her the advice to work on herself and to โ€œmake sure that you have the passion that youโ€™re fulfilling.โ€

โ€œI want my husband to always see the same woman, if not better, that he first laid his eyes on when he married,โ€ Ayesha told โ€œThe View.โ€

Ayesha Curry and Stephen Curry attend the 2022 ESPYs at Dolby Theatre on July 20, 2022, in Hollywood, California. (Photo by Leon Bennett/Getty Images)

Itโ€™s not healthy to lose yourself and your passions and dreams, even if youโ€™re losing yourself to your relationship or family. Make sure that you are able to put yourself first sometimes, and make sure that your dreams are just as important as your significant otherโ€™s. Be equal partners, and youโ€™ll both be able to become better people together.

Relationships require purposeful attention, but weโ€™ve got some good examples and excellent advice to learn from. If you put in the work, maybe youโ€™ll end up with an epic romance like what Steph and Ayesha Curry have.